I didn't shave. On purpose
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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