Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Please don't give away my fajitas
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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