My brain says no but my pants say off.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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