don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
