If i could tip my vagina, i would.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
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