Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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