At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You were trust falling into bushes
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
