we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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