DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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