Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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