I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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