quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
