my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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