I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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