Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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