i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
