She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
