im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
