i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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