If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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