Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
