Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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