I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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