my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Randomize
