my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
