super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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