If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
