I want to have your abortion
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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