We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize