Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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