he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
