how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
