Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
