We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
