WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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