i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
