i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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