I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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