I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
