I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
