Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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