If that was your dad, he is hot
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
