She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
