you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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