U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
