remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
