No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
