i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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