someone get that fucking seahorse.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Randomize
