She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
