So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
