And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
its liver damage thursday
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