When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
