: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
