I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
